


dusk till dawn

by babyboychris



Series: changjin soulmates [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Boys Kissing, Cuddles, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Hwang Hyunjin & Seo Changbin - Freeform, Hwang Hyunjin/ Seo Changbin - Freeform, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Party, Protective Seo Changbin, Sleepovers, Sweet Hwang Hyunjin, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, but it’s not explicit don’t worry, changjin - Freeform, we need more changjin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 03:18:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyboychris/pseuds/babyboychris
Summary: changbin is hyunjin's best friend so whenever he feels sad, there'll always be achangbinright besidehimso he'd never feel alone.





	dusk till dawn

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work, i’m kinda nervous, but yeah... here we go

as if it were a ritual that could not be broken, every Sunday afternoon changbin went to hyunjin's house to spend the rest of the day with his childhood friend. their mothers had always been great friends, so the two ended up growing up together. 

hyunjin had been experiencing some bad things emotionally lately, the only person who could calm him down was changbin. to the younger boy, sundays were the worst day of the week, he just couldn’t go through it alone anymore, his anxiety was agonizing and he just wanted to cry until everything got better, but to him it seemed quite impossible.

on this particular sunday, hyunjin's anxiety was the worst it has ever been. changbin was the quietest, calmest person who someone could be with, and he just wouldn’t leave his friend's side until he made sure they were feeling better. 

the sudden call on his cell phone was from hyunjin's mother, with a tightness in his chest, already imagining what it would be, he heard the mother’s cry, and immediately put on a sweatshirt that was hanging on the nearest chair and hurried to get out of his house as soon as possible. 

the older boy literally ran down the sidewalk, trying to be as fast as he could be. the younger’s house was a few blocks from where he lived, and in a few minutes he was already facing the dark wooden door, breathing deeply before ringing the bell.

hyunjin's mother opened the door giving the boy a tight hug right away, her eyes talking more than her own mouth could. changbin ran upstairs to hyunjin’s room, and as he approached the door, he could hear the boy's sobbing, the noise filling the silent house. changbin wanted to cry too, he couldn’t bear to see his friend suffer like that, he wished every day he could take all the pain out of hyunjin and transfer it to himself. he wished that this would happen to him and not to hyunjin, a boy so sweet and responsible, so incredibly kind and gentle. 

with silent steps, changbin entered the dark room and sat on the edge of the bed. his hands finding the youngest's sweaty hair and stroking it lightly. hyunjin gripped his hand tightly and pulled him into a hug. changbin waited patiently for the boy to stop crying as he stroked his back and hair. his own shirt getting wet with the tears of the younger, he felt his eyes fill with tears too, but he stopped himself to pass security to his friend.

as soon as he calmed down, changbin laid down beside hyunjin, hugging him tightly and stroking his face. the youngest, with his eyes closed, appreciated the touch. 

silence hung in the room. changbin had a lot to talk about, but he just couldn’t dare to say. lately he’d been feeling strange about hyunjin. his heart was racing most of the time they were together. he was involved too deeply with the boy, emotionally tangled in all of hyunjin’s problems. and no, he wasn’t complaining. he would move mountains to make him happy. hyunjin’s happiness had always been a priority for him above anything else. 

the younger one took a deep breath, turning to changbin and looking at him with a smile on his face.

"thank you, hyung" his voice came out hoarse because of all the crying. changbin smiled and squeezed hyunjin's cheek lightly and then touched the tip of his nose. 

changbin would always be there for him.

 

//

  
  


that afternoon, changbin was struggling at writing his part in a song he was producing with friends. one of his friends drummed their pen on a notebook, and that sure was annoying changbin.

"chan, please, i can’t concentrate" he said, getting a startled look from the boy.

"sorry binnie, i’ve distracted myself. by the way, you look tired," the older man said, putting his attention on changbin now. with a sigh, changbin squeezed the side of his head, closing his eyes tightly. he was stressed.  _ very _ stressed, to be more specific.

"yes, changbin... i’ve noticed that too. i believe it has to do with that friend of yours, right?" the other boy who was sitting on opposite sides of changbin commented.

"yeah, maybe it is, but i don’t want to talk about it." his words came out quickly, and he turned his attention to the paper, quickly writing the idea that popped up in his head. the three boys remained silent, focused on finishing their writing, but suddenly changbin's phone rang, interrupting them. 

it’s hyunjin.

changbin left the room to talk with the boy.

"binnie" the sweet voice on the other side of the line echoed in his ears making him smile immediately.

"hi, jinnie. did something happen?" a rush of concern running through him. 

"no. just missed you since i haven’t seen you today." the younger replies, smile on his face being able to hear from the other side of the line.

changbin bit his lip to hide the smile that wanted to tear his face in two. his cheeks heated and he didn’t know where to look at.

"i missed you, too. are you okay? " he tried to change the subject.

"i’m fine. i want to see you today " hyunjin said. 

and in that moment, changbin thought he was having a mental breakdown. not that he wasn’t used to hyunjin’s presence and forwardness, that wasn’t it. changbin was used to it. the problem was: hyunjin never said he wanted to see him, in that way. the younger one rarely got out his house, and every time changbin was there, it was because he invited himself, since hyunjin was extremely recluse and never invited anyone over. but he wanted to see changbin. and suddenly the older boy felt like the most important human being in the world. his legs began to fail and he had to hold the wall to stand. this was something his friend chan called a ‘gay panic’, changbin thought. 

"of course... as soon as i leave the studio, i'll go to your house, ok?" the elder’s voice quivered, making hyunjin blush. his chuckle was heard on the other side of the call, and changbin's heart missed a beat.

"OK. i’ll wait for you then. bye-bye binnie." he answered sweetly.

changbin sighed and managed to slip out a good-bye, hanging up the call and walking back into the room. his friends looked at him with curious expressions, chan had an arched eyebrow waiting for whatever changbin had to say.

"please go back to writing," he said, unable to face both guys who still stared at him curiously.

"was it hyunjin?" the blonde asked.

"jisung, please." changbin ignored the question, staring at the scribbled sheet in front of him.

"it seems like you're in love" chan commented, jotting something down on the paper in front of him.

"shut up!" changbin finally said, writing something quickly.

 

almost 30 minutes later, everyone finished writing and handed the sheets to chan, who kept organizing the music. it was friday night, and they wanted to go out for a drink.

"come on, binnie! please" chan said, pouting, swinging changbin’s arm in an attempt to convince him.

"i need to finish some stuff, i can’t." he lied.

"you do  _ not  _ know how to lie. you’re going out with hyunjin, is that it?" jisung teased.

"guys... please." changbin whined.

"take him with us, and then we can finally meet him!" chan suggested. changbin almost choked on his own saliva, eyes widening. 

"no! definitely not!" changbin shook his head negatively, stuffing his things into his backpack. the two other boys looking at every move he made.

"just invite him, it won’t hurt you." jisung finally said. changbin looked at him and sighed.

"okay, if that makes you sleep better at night, i'll invite him. i’m leaving." he put the black backpack on his shoulder and with a brief nod left the studio in hurried steps to hyunjin’s house. 

inside the subway, he exchanged a few messages with the boy, unable to contain a smile when reading a certain message with:  _ "cuddles, cuddles" _ . 

upon arriving at the final station, hurried through the crowd, along the way, he sighted a flower shop, and bought a bouquet of red tulips to take to hyunjin. 

still on the way, he bought some cheesecake cookies with raspberry, which were the other boy's favorites and white chocolate frappuccino for both. 

in a few minutes, the light blue patch of hyunjin's house invaded his vision, and suddenly he felt his heart beat so fast he thought he was having a cardiac arrest. that feeling of butterflies in the stomach invaded changbin's body. he could feel the pulse of his heart in his ears, feeling his cheeks reddening too. 

he didn’t know why he was so nervous, though. after a deep breath he rang the bell, being greeted by a sleepy boy with messy black hair, his gray sweatpants contrasting with the black hoodie and white socks. his red lips with bite marks - hyunjin's own, probably having bitten when he was nervous - opened in a smile to see changbin at the door, with flowers and food. hyunjin's favorite things were right in front of him. and that included changbin himself.

changbin handed him the flowers, feeling his face blush as hyunjin smelled them and smiled greatly. both entered the silent house, the parents of the younger probably not home giving the serenity. 

after eating the cookies and drinking the frappuccino, they laid on the couch, with hyunjin between the elder’s leg, hugging him and putting his head on his chest. the essence of the floral-scented shampoo of the younger invading changbin’s nostrils, who found himself inhaling the fragrance as if he needed it to live. his hands caressing the long hair of the boy lying on him almost automatically. a nameless anime playing on the television was the only sound that filled the environment.

and after what felt like hours, hyunjin moved, pushing his body higher up changbin’s to look into his eyes. all changbin's attention was on him, with a silly grin on his lips, hyunjin kissed the boy's cheek, giving little giggles that echoed through the dark room. 

changbin was taken aback, heart being on the edge of exploding at any minute. the air barely entered his lungs as the younger kissed his jaw. he was trying to understand what hyunjin was doing, and why he was doing it. 

more kisses were deposited on changbin’s forehead, at the temples, at the tip of his nose, and then the younger hid his face in the older man's neck and placed a kiss there. it was inevitable for changbin to feel the shiver rising up his arms and back. 

to not ruin the moment, he decided not to ask what had happened. just hugged the huge boy in his arms and kept him warm.

but then he remembered what chan had said and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, unlocking it to see the time. it wasn’t even eight o'clock yet, so they had plenty of time.

"jinnie?" he called, nudging the younger's rib, making him laugh.

"hm?" hyunjin was still hiding his face in changbin’s neck.

"wanna go somewhere with me?" changbin bit his lip, afraid to ask the question. he didn’t want to force hyunjin to go out with him. 

"hmmm to where?" the younger's voice was distant and soon changbin regretted starting the subject.

"my friends want to go out for a drink. i’d like you to go too, if you want." he asked, still a little bit afraid of the answer.

"hm... i don’t know, binnie, but you can go if you want. i don’t want you to be stuck in the house with me, you have your own life to live" the sentence was ended with a huff from hyunjin. changbin's heart stopped clenching inside his chest as he listened to the sadness in the younger’s voice.

"hey, hyunjin, look at me" he touched the other's chin lightly, "i only asked if you wanted to go. if you want we can, If you don’t want to, there’s no problem in that. i'll stay here with you and i'll stay here forever if you want me to. alright?" changbin said, stroking hyunjin’s cheek afterwards.

"you don’t have to stay here for me. you have other friends" hyunjin's voice broke in the end, and through the light of the TV, he could see tears streaming down his face. changbin wanted to hit himself for making hyunjin cry. he wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt his friend, and the fact that he had done it himself made things even worse.

"jinnie, don’t cry, please. hyung is here with you, okay? please, we don’t have to go anywhere. i'm here." changbin reassured him, wiping the tears from the younger’s face, giving him a gentle a kiss in his forehead afterwards.

hyunjin took a deep breath as his crying came to a stop. 

"i’m sorry, binnie. i want to go. i don’t know where you're going, but i want to go with you" the tall one said looking into the other boy's eyes.

"hyunjin, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. i shouldn’t have said anything to make you feel uncomfortable and... " hyunjin put his finger on the older man's thin lips, silencing him.

"i  _ want  _ to go. i'll go get dressed.” he got up and went to his room. changbin suddenly became cold, feeling the younger's body move away from his, losing all the heat emanating from him. 

changbin sent a quick text to chan, telling him that he will go and bring hyunjin along, and giving he always carries a change of clothes in his backpack, he went to the bathroom to shower.

  
  


//

  
  


hyunjin was nervous. he held tightly than necessary to changbin's hand; simultaneously breaking the older’s heart a little bit more by every second. a half-hearted smile appeared on the taller’s face, which made everything way more complicated for changbin’s poor heart.

the cab driver stopped in front of a small nightclub, the music playing loudly. the desperation in hyunjin's gaze was clear, and he grabbed changbin's arm hard as he got out of the car.

"it wasn’t a good idea. let's go back, jinnie, i don’t mind." changbin said, alreading tugging at the younger one’s arm, but hyunjin stopped him.

"no! i want to stay. please, trust me." hyunjin's eyes brimmed with sincerity. changbin took a deep breath and then pointed to the door, where they both entered after waiting a few minutes in the line.

hyunjin was in a tight black jeans, and a white shirt. his hair was a little wavy and changbin couldn’t possibly deny that the boy wasn’t handsome - and that he attracts many looks. 

the taller’s cheeks were rosy as he held the elder’s hand tightly, their fingers intertwined. changbin tried not to freak out. he’s used to this intimate moment’s with hyunjin's but they usually were in private, now they’re walking wither their hands interwined  _ in public. _

a strange sensation in the top of the short one’s stomach began to start, and if it weren’t for the familiar faces of chan and jisung, he could’ve possibly fainted.

the boys all greeted each other, and jisung left a blushing hyunjin behind after making a series of over the top comments about hyunjin’s beauty. "jisung is stupid, don’t mind him." changbin assured the other boy. 

soon the drinks arrived, and consequently the boys got lightheaded enough to go to the dance floor. hyunjin was still a little bit shy, but apparently everything was okay with him. when changbin let go of his friend's hand to pick up his cell phone, he saw him being carried away by a drunk jisung, holding hyunijn among the people making changbin froze, already getting up to go after him. chan held his arm and raised his eyebrows.

"hey, binnie, calm down. he is right there in front of us. nothing will happen." chan tried to calm him down, but changbin remained static, as if breathing more abruptly, hyunjin would collapse on the floor. changbin had hyunjin as his precious porcelain object, where even the smallest of touches could break it into tiny pieces. 

"binnie, relax." chan handed a beer can to the smaller one, who drank it quickly still looking at the two boys dancing nearby. "you must love him very much." chan pointed out, as he played with the beer can. changbin felt a click inside himself and turned to chan. 

he  _ loves _ hyunijn? was that clear?

“of course i love him. he's my best friend." changbin said dismissively, as if it was something very obvious.

"yeah but you love him in a different way than you love me and jisung. we're also your best friends" chan pointed out again, shoving changbin's arm playfully.

"he needs me. needs me in a different way you two need. " changbin opened another beer, turning back to the tall boy dancing more freely now. he could not hide a smile when he saw that hyunjin was looking at him, too, smiling. this was not something that happened often.

"got it! but still, i think there's more than just a friend's love between you both, binnie. i don’t live with you two, but in the half hour that you were here, anyone could say with absolute certainty that you are in a long ass relationship. the complicity in the look of you both, the way you communicate without words... it’s all very domestic! i was even scared" the heap of words that left chan’s mouth made changbin anxious. that feeling of butterflies in his stomach again, and the impression that he had just emerged from the depths of a turbulent sea, as if chan had cleared his mind in the same way that moonlight clears the pitch of night in the middle of a dark forest. 

something clicked in changbin’s mind then, he suddenly felt reality so close to hyunjin. reminiscing about how much he already lived with hyunjin and how it was so obvious to see that he had feelings for the boy, in whom he cared and care so much. 

changbin wanted to cry. scream his lungs out, punch a concrete wall until he sees it shattered on the floor. that tightness in his heart was suffocating, it seemed that his heart was on fire. and like a bucket of iced water falling over his head, hyunjin brought changbin to reality as he returned to the table, holding the younger man's shoulder and drawing his breath. the boy was sweating a little bit and suddenly changbin wondered if he was well. 

  
“i'm exhausted.” the younger answers, as if reading changbin’s mind. “jisung simply doesn’t tire himself." the wonderful laughter of hyunjin resonated across the table, causing changbin's heart to fail again.

"i'm glad you're having a good time" changbin nudged his friend's arm, earning his hand from the outstretched hand so that his fingers were intertwined again. changbin looked at chan automatically, who had a playful smile on his face, as if saying  _ ‘i knew i was right!’ _

 

maybe he was.

 

a few hours, and a few more drinks later, changbin stretched himself, slipping his arm right behind hyunjin, which was sipping soda through a straw. his lips forming an adorable pout and suddenly changbin felt the urge to kiss him. the younger's left hand was rested on changbin's thigh, something that was no longer surprising, since personal space didn’t exist between the two.

changbin clasped the younger's fingers with his free hand, and played with the joints of them for a bit. hyunjin was radiant, a huge smile on his face heated changbin inside. chan had disappeared with a boy he had just met and jisung was kissing a red-haired boy right in front of them. hyunjin was all red from embarrassment again and changbin wanted to kick jisung up to the tenth generation of his family.

"they match!" hyunjin whispered next to changbin's ear

"this is disgusting." changbin grimaced, making hyunjin laugh.

"would you find it disgusting to see me kissing someone, too?" hyunjin asked. changbin froze in his chair, his mouth gaping and his confused gaze directed to the other boy.

“ _ what _ ?" he asked perplexedly.

“i'm kidding!" hyunjin laughed, hiding his face in the boy's neck. changbin sighed, as if he'd been holding his breath for a long time.

"but you're in the mood to kiss someone then, huh?" changbin teased, trying to catch up on the subject.

"yes, actually" hyunjin said, look anywhere but to changbin’s face.

changbin froze  _ again _ , his heart pounding in his chest. he suddenly wanted to disappear. he didn’t know what that sensation was that ran through his body, making his hand tremble at the thought of hyunjin kissing someone. but he couldn’t do anything. he was just his friend. nothing but friends. chan was wrong, and now he wanted to punch the face of the older man who put these things in his head.

hyunjin nudged changbin's cheek, drawing his attention to himself.

"so kiss them! don’t waste time." changbin tried to fake a smile, and nudged his friend's rib. 

"ah… i don’t know if it's mutual, though!" hyunjin answered, pouting, his voice coming out with a childish, totally adorable, tone.

"i think it’s almost impossible for someone to not like you." changbin said, regretting just the moment the words left his mouth. he closed his eyes tightly and covered it with his own hands.

hyunjin laughed and kissed his friend's face, then turned his attention to the alcohol-free drink in front of him.

 

chan finally appeared and it was past 4 o'clock in the morning. a timid yawn escaped hyunjin’s mouth, exposing his tiredness. changbin wanted to squeeze his cheeks and certainly would when he had the opportunity. the boys said goodbye, chan whispered something in hyunjin's ear, making the younger one laugh. jisung said goodbye from where he was and the boy who was with him smiled, waving. they later discovered that his name was Felix.

 

the drive back was silent, hyunjin snorted quietly on changbin’s shoulder as he watched him closely. everything in hyunjin was beautiful. his sleepy eyes giving him a calm expression. the little mole under the boy's eye was his charm. the thin pointed nose marked the transition of the younger face from teenage to adult. his black hair falling over his forehead gives him an angelic face that contrasted with the boy's defined jaw. 

as soon as they reached hyunjin’s house, changbin woke him up. helped him to get out of the car and after paying the ride, took him to the door. they hated farewells. hyunjin was already with a puppy face and that alone broke the elder’s heart, who was in a dilemma between going home and staying at hyunjin’s place.

he could stay. no problems, but he was afraid of what might happen. after the conversation he had with chan, he simply opened his eyes and began to actually see hyunjin in a romantic way. 

"stay, binnie. i don’t want to sleep alone." he whined, pouting. changbin closed his eyes and sighed, already feeling himself giving in.

"okay... i'll stay. but don’t get used to it, huh?" he teased, his arms invaded by a surprise hug from the younger boy.

they entered the house quietly and went upstairs to the bedroom. changbin took off the leather jacket that he was wearing, sitting on the bed, waiting for hyunjin to come out of the bathroom.

changbin's mind wandered between sanity and insanity. he wanted very much to ask many things to the youngest, he wanted to speak about many things too. he wanted to ask who the other boy wanted to kiss. he also wanted to ask if hyunjin would like to kiss him.

the older shook his head, trying to shake off the last thought when hyunjin came back to his room in sweatpants and a black shirt. he was smiling, a redness scattered across his face.

"go shower, you can wear my clothes," he said, opening the wardrobe looking for something that’d fit the small one.

without saying anything, changbin went to the bathroom with the clothes he had been offered.

after a few minutes he returned. hyunjin started to laugh when he saw that his sweatshirt was too big to the older one, oversized in the sleeves and the waistband of his pants. changbin rolled his eyes, punching lightly the other boy’s arm, who couldn’t stop laughing.

soon the laughter ceased, and changbin saw it as a cue to go to his made-up bed.

"where are you going?" hyunjin asked.

"to sleep. i don’t know if your mother will like to know that i spent the night here with her son." changbin stretched the soft object to the floor.

"don’t. first, my mother loves you and this will never be a problem. second, i want you here with me. i want cuddles," hyunjin said the last sentence, almost mewling, with a lovely pout. changbin's heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest, it was impossible to control it when it came to hyunjin. completely defeated, he laid down besides the taller one, covering both their bodies with a soft blanket. hyunjin cuddled himself in changbin like a sloth. silence lingered in the bedroom. 

hyunjin’s smell was all around the room. that fresh scent of soap right after you take a bath, mixed with his natural essence and the strong scent of the boy cologne was all over the bedclothes. not to mention the clothes that he was dressed, which also had his smell.

there was no better definition of comfort. their bodies together, exuding warmth and comfort. being with hyunjin was like being at home. as if hyunjin were his house, a big one, to keep the elder’s heart safe.

"hyung..." changbin was awakened from his reveries by a sleepy hyunjin.

"hmm?" he replied, trying to straighten himself up to look at him.

"you know who i wanted to kiss?" he asked suddenly, changbin almost choking on his own saliva.

"hmmm, someone handsome over there at party?" the older boy joked and thanked the room for being dark enough so that hyunjin couldn’t see the look on his face.

"no, you dumb.” hyunjin joked, “no one at the party interested me. it’s someone i know for a long time." hyunjin placed his index finger on changbin's cheek, and laid his head on his own hand over changbin’s chest. he couldn’t look him in the eye, so playing with his cheeks seemed like a good way to avoid it.

"hmm, a friend from your school?" changbin had the stock of ‘subject changes’ end, exhausted, he saw himself getting closer and closer to hearing who hyunjin wanted to kiss, and frankly, he didn’t want to hear it. he didn’t want to hear that hyunjin wanted to kiss someone. it kind of made him... jealous? yeah,  _ jealous _ , he thought.

"pfffft, you're a fool, hyung” hyunjin teased, settling into his place again, giving up on continuing whatever he wanted to say.

"hey! i want to know who it was!" he lied.

hyunjin laid on his tummy, and in an act of nervousness, began to play with his fingers. he didn’t want to look at changbin’s face for what he was about to say. 

"you” he said simply. he held his breath, waiting for his friend's reaction.

changbin stood still for a long time. hyunjin thought his friend had slept, or whatever, died. the fear of rejection started growing in his chest. he had done the wrong thing again, he thought. he felt his eyes flutter and the shame consume his whole body. he was being stupid to think that changbin had any interest in him other than just friendship, because he could not conceive how a normal person would have interest in someone troublesome like him.

when he opened his mouth to apologize, changbin finally moved.

"m-me?” he began, “like... me? really? me?" he asked quickly.

changbin couldn’t believe what he had just heard. it was real, too real. his whole body felt like it got caught in flames.

"i'm sorry, binnie. i think i went too far." hyunjin covered his eyes with his own hands, embarrassed. changbin then turned to the younger boy and pulled his face towards him.

"i think this is the happiest day of my life?” he said heatedley, “honestly, that's what i've wanted to hear for a long time, jinnie.” he couldn’t stop his smile from “and you don’t have to apologize." 

tears started streaming down the younger's face, and changbin ran his finger over them to wipe it. he leaned closer to the boy, their lips very close. the sweet breath of hyunjin bathed changbin's face, and he wanted to kiss him quickly, but decided to prolong the moment, caressing the younger’s face with affection. and then, their lips met for the first time, with a deep seal. their eyes closing, and emotion taking over both of them. changbin pulled the younger one closer to him, lying on his stomach he placed his arms on each side of hyunjin’s head to deepen the kiss him. 

their tongues meeting for the first time, in a slow pace of exploration. hyunjin's lips matched nothing of what changbin had already thought. the softness and voluptuousness of the youngest’s lips in contact with his mouth was something indescribable, but it resembled touching a cloud or even cotton candy, since the taste of it was sweet. the calm kiss stretched for a long time. caresses all over changbin's face made him feel in paradise, as if he was having a dream where he was walking on top of clouds, or in a room full of feathers and soft carpets.

with little smooches, the kiss was interrupted so that they could properly breathe.

"i think this was the best thing that ever happened to me" changbin commented, pulling the taller one over himself again. everything seemed calm and right, as if they definitely belonged to each other. the kisses lingered till the sun slowly started appearing on the sky, as if sleeping was no longer necessary and the only thing they needed was each other’s lips.

 

changbin tried to carefully disengage himself from hyunjin's arms to go to the bathroom that morning. as soon as he could, he left the room tiptoeing.

when he looked at himself in the mirror, he noticed deep dark circles under his eyes because of a bad night's sleep, but they were constricted by the silly smile that spread across his face. 

changbin was happy - very happy. his heart could explode at any moment from it. he washed his face as if to see if he’d woke from a very realistic dream, but for his own joy it was all very real.

 

the smell of food was all over the house. hyunjin's mother hummed an upbeat song while stirring something in the pan. 

"binnie, did you sleep here?” she asked, startled by the boy’s presence. “something happened to hyunjin?" she started to worry.

"no, ms. hwang. he just asked me to stay, since we arrived late last night.” he responded, "everything’s okay, don’t worry." changbin explained politely and smiled as the other boy's mother smiled.

"you're always welcome here." she winked at him, smiling.

 

after an episode of a rather boring tv show, changbin heard some noises coming from the stairs and a sleepy voice calling out his name. he went to the kitchen to find out that was hyunjin, asking his mother for his own whereabouts.

“i’m here." changbin smiled, leaning against the doorway and almost falling from the shock of hyunjin’s body in his. he could see the other’s mother smiling over hyunjin’s shoulders. 

"i'm not going anywhere," changbin whispered in hyunjin’s ear.

the cuddling sessions were repeated for the whole week, none of them getting sick of kissing each other. they seemed even more glued to the other one than before, and finally, an improvement was noticed in hyunjin’s anxiety. 

changbin was very happy to be one of the reasons of his healingness, obviously the medical treatment, which the boy finally agreed to do, also helped a lot. the younger one had granted changbin the “personal healing” title, because, to him, changbin simply made his life way better.

hyunjin was overwhelmed to think that changbin hadn’t given up on him, as so many others have. when you're involved in mental disorders like this, it's complicated to rationalize consistently. he came to believe that no one could ever like him the way he wanted them to,  and he never imagined that someone else would look at him with other eyes too. 

for him, he was invisible to everyone else, the thought of giving up on everything coming to his mind many times. but changbin never gave up on him. changbin still deals with it in the best way possible, knowing fully well that it don’t heal in a short period of time, but it’s a rather long, hard path. 

in his moments of loneliness, where it all feels like a free sample of death; changbin is there, holding his hand, and making sure to show that he is loved. and this was a holy remedy for the improvement of hyunjin’s illness. for the worst thing that could happen with him was loneliness, but he felt it no longer with changbin on his side. 

the great demonstrations of love are in little daily acts, which to some seemed insignificant, but which saved hyunjin’s life in the end.

  
  


changbin delayed to admit it, but in a random afternoon, while hyunjin slept quietly on his chest, he unlocked his cellphone, quickly finding chan’s contact icon and typing:

 

_ "yeah, bang chan, you were right. i've always been completely in love with him, and will be always grateful to you for making me realize that. thanks dude. love you!" _

 

in instants, he was texted back:

 

_ "you’re in a relationship with him for about 8 months, and only now admitted it? i’m only not hitting you for that cause hyunjin would cut my dick off if i do.” _

 

changbin started to laugh and another message arrived:

 

" _ ah, i almost forgot to add: i’m always right : i  _ _ love you too _ ."

 

he giggled even louder at that, waking hyunjin up.

"what are you laughing at, seo changbin?" the boy asked, with his eyes still closed.

changbin handed the phone to him, opening just one eye to read. they both started to laugh together again.

"what about me, hm? you love me too?" hyunjin pouted.

" _plus que ma propre vie_ " he replied in french. they learnt that expression from a movie, and now it is their  _ thing. _

"me too.  _ plus que ma prope vie _ ," hyunjin added, kissing once more his boyfriend's lips.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it.  
> also, i’d like to thank my best friend, for helping through the process of writting. and for being my beta reader. **i love you** , _thank you_.


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